GROWING YOUR IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIPS WITH MORE CONFIDENCE
PODCAST #313
This week on The Confidence Podcast, we're chatting about:

Creating relationships in your life that give you confidence and that you trust
The danger of "small offenses" in the relationships in your life
How to grow the relationships that matter to you, and move on from the ones that don't


REVIEW OF THE WEEK:
thanks, Trish :)

I randomly found this podcast while struggling with the public speaking portion of my job. Trish has been very helpful professionally and personally ... insightful, and worth a listen if you're looking for something but not sure what. She helps me compartmentalize my thoughts and have tools that help me with self-love and forward progress in my life.


CREATING THE IDEAL RELATIONSHIPS IN YOUR LIFE 
You have a relationship with everything and everyone.

the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.
Relationships are the foundation of a meaningful life. 
In a 2010 review of 148 studies, researchers found that social relationships improve lifespans. People in healthy long-term relationships are 50% less likely to die prematurely than people without them.
Types of relationships:
Familial, friendship, amorous, neighborly, acquaintances

We were created for connection.

Connection demands communication.

(Communication is the key to life - Tim Kelley, Davidson College) 
What do relationships give us:
A sense of safety

A support network

A feeling of purpose

Longevity

Healthier and more balanced emotions

Healthy relationships bring compassion to that relationship space, which helps us regulate our emotions, calm our primal alarm systems and promote longer periods of health.

In healthy relationships, people learn that they can safely manage worries, fears, hopes and dreams.  This capacity builds intimacy, closeness, and a sense of security that has a far-reaching impact.

(from Pro Psych Central) 

Good relationships appear to protect our brains. "Being in a securely attached relationship is protective in your 80s. Those people's memories stay sharper longer," says Dr. Waldinger  (Harvard Review)

According to Blue Zones (Dan Buettner), optimize your face to face relationships to optimize your health and your longevity.

While diet, exercise, and overall health all seem like they’d be the best predictors of how long you’ll live, Julianne Holt-Lundstad at Brigham Young University found that the following are three important predictors of longevity:

Drinking/smoking habits: Are you a moderate drinker? Do you or don’t you smoke? Did you quit?
Close relationships: These are your closest friends, the people you can call on a bad day, the friends you know will support you in bad times.
Social integration: These are the interactions with people as you move through your day and includes both strong and weak bonds. It could be the coffee barista you see on your daily commute, the postman, or the woman behind you in line at the grocery store.

The face-to-face interactions you have on a daily basis are one of the strongest predictors of how long you’ll live.

For the record - I used to be awful at relationships. I grew up in a family with constant fighting. I was homeschooled. I was a highly gifted athlete - which made me a loner. I had friends, but I didn't have a lot of practice. Boarding school helped, but then I had toxic relationships.  It's never too late to get better at relationships ... and we do so with an open heart, vulnerable spirit and a deep desire to connect to others and to allow ourselves to be known and loved.
Now - I  love relationships because they make me slow down.
Relationships are not "productive."

I can't check the box. I can't earn them. I have to live them.
KEEP YOUR ACCOUNTS SHORT AND BOUNDARIES STRONG
The biggest thing that breaks up relationships is keeping long accounts of small offenses.

The secret to strong relationships is short acco...